Sensitive & Vocal

Relationships are such work. How and when do you know if you should throw in the towel or keep working at it? In general I am a very expressive person. Sensitive and vocal – every guy’s worst nightmare. When something upsets me I vocalize it. Of course, I go through the rationalities in my head of what could have happened, where the misunderstanding took place or what the intentions were. But when my vocalized disappointment is responded to in defense or avoidance it makes me want to coil up and be with just myself forever.

To put this into real picture: my boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and several months now. Somehow through all the hurdles we’ve overcome we still manage to butt heads and are still having communication issues. We were meant to do something this evening but I get a text this morning saying he has a job scheduled for him at 8pm. So then I wonder how that’s possible and ask him if he’s on call. He says he is but then I wonder some more about his plan last night to have drinks with his friend despite his ‘on call’ position this week. Basically I’m upset as I was looking forward to doing something fun with him tonight. I vocalized this. He suggested to have sushi instead. I am supposed to be understanding, as this really isn’t a big deal. I think what made it one was that he told me this morning about his on call status and that he went for beers last night since he claims to never be able to do anything with me while he’s on call. I feel like there’s definitely a lot of learning I need to do something about ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ or to ‘avoid over thinking’ everything. I was just really looking forward to tonight.

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