I never really understood the meaning of being alone until I started dating.
When I was single I had family and so many amazing friends to occupy my time, plus school, work, my non-profit and other volunteer commitments. I had so many goals and aspirations for myself and my career that I spent literally every minute trying to ensure I lived a valuable and productive life.
It was only after dating my boyfriend that I really discovered the meaning of ‘feeling lonely’ or ‘being alone’. I’m pretty much in love with my boyfriend and naturally we spend a lot of time together. However, it’s not during the times that we don’t spend it together or when I am naturally on my own at home that I feel alone. It was during our arguments where I started thinking of his absence in my life and where I would be without him; that is when I realized what it would feel like to be alone. I would still have the same amazing family and friends around me, the same life goals but the feeling of emptiness as the person I value would no longer be there to share my life and accomplishments with. It really is so different when you have a partner, someone you truly believe will be there with you through the journey of life. Not that your friends and family are insufficient but it really is quite different. I can’t put my finger on it but it really shouldn’t be something I need to justify.
I’ve talked to a few friends who always seem to be rationalizing what they want in life. Whether you choose to be single or choose to commit to one person is your sole decision. Wanting to have a partner in your life shouldn’t be something that needs to be rationalized. Your decision to choose a life for yourself shouldn’t be the focus of debate or discussion (of course as long as its within ethical means). We live in a world where social media shares everyone’s story and you now get bombarded with opinions of all kinds. I think too many people have let their ‘social media life’ influence their real life. You shouldn’t need to justify that you want a relationship or that you want to be single. I know many single people who do not feel alone and some married individuals who do feel alone.
Feeling alone and being alone are two different things.